Thursday, December 17, 2009

When you're dreaming with a broken heart....

You won't know the way I feel.
The way u hurt me.
But it's alrite...

Call me immature,
Call me out of nature,
But I know me,
and I know thee...

I took a huge blow tonite,
I felt my lungs swells and grew tite,
I cant breathe nor could I move,
The anger and rage in me i let not out but in,
To keep the worst from happening.
To keep the worst in me, in me....

I cant go to sleep,
I choose not to..
But eventually I will..
I fear the dreams to come..
The dreams of you,
Because of a broken heart, I dream..
The hardest part, is waking up...

It's jus so typical of you to take everything so seriously... I was jus saying what my heart wants to say. It beats to a different rythnm. To a different way. Doesnt mean it doesnt beats for you any longer. I am unsure of it's feelings. Doesnt mean I'm getting rid of it. Doesnt mean I am letting go...

And you're already asking for a time apart from us in the next minute... I can do nothing but to obliged. But soon after, in the next minute, u call.. but to say you cant talk to me for a while. That you need to make some decisions for your own and that my presense near you would be nothing but a distracting figure. As respectful as i may be, I accepted the fact with a much shattered and broken heart... I left you alone.

But when nite comes, you send me a text saying you need me. Knowing that u were in such condition, i lay out my hand in hopes that u would take mine in yours willingly. And so you did. But this time, you wanted to spend more time together for christmas as we talked on and as the conversation advanced in it's course. At this point, I am nothing more but a confuse soul...

The worst is yet to come... It's like you havent gotten your satisfaction on how broken my heart is, yet you come around and break it into a million more pieces this time. You told me that u've met up with ur ex... Something I'm particularly not fond of to begin with. But still you go against your better judgement and did the sin. I hope you're happy with what you get outta it. For you have gotten me so numb. That i no longer feel my heart in trillions of pieces...

You called me this morning to tell me that i cannot be a part of your life at the moment because you are making huge life decisions for your own. But instead, you call upon your former glory to discuss your future. It seems to me, I shall remain the former one. and he shall take my place in your heart. Let it be just frens or me simply exagerating outta my immature heart and ways of thinking.... It came at a dead timing of our hour. And you shud have known the better path.

My ship is about to make it's last voyage. But it is still best to keep the anchor down for the winds are set imperfect for sailing and the waves, too strong to encounter. I shall stall a few days to look upon a brighter day. In which it is being clouded upon a dreaded sky of striking bolts and darkness scattered all around. I will wait. Until the heart makes a decision. I will wait.

This is my truth... Believe it.

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